Creating Logan

March 25, 2012

Refusing to Dissipate

I thought the confusion
would dissipate

if I tried a little harder,
made a more serious attempt
gave more of myself to her
I almost found her this time
before I pushed her away entirely
through sincerity.

I thought the pain
I continually inflict upon myself
would dissipate

if she gave me a chance.

but my heart fluttered too fiercely
my mind raced too quickly
my breath fell too shortly
in her presence.

it was no surprise
when she asked for the inevitable

space

I thought the love
would dissipate

if I lost track of days
and busied myself with tasks
I told myself would advance my resume.
but my heart set in to stubbornness
and my fingertips keep tracing her tattoo in idleness.
Her quiet laugh and shy side glances
replay endlessly in the reels of my memory.

I could say defiantly
“I’ve moved on”
but lying never worked for me
and dreaming of her still feels natural.

She moved me in ways
Byron and Neruda always described as
desire or deseo.
and I cannot turn away
and I cannot merely sway
with these turbulent winds of rejection.

I thought the desire for her
would dissipate
but the unwavering love is still prevailing
and her smile is still inspiring.

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4 Comments »

  1. Reblogged this on Creating Logan.

    Comment by createlogan — March 25, 2012 @ 9:58 am | Reply

  2. Awesome.

    Comment by Sunshine — March 26, 2012 @ 10:25 pm | Reply

  3. […] Refusing to Dissipate (createlogan.wordpress.com) Share this:FacebookTwitterDiggRedditStumbleUponEmailTumblrLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. Leave a Comment by Bodhirose on May 22, 2012  •  Permalink Posted in Poetry Tagged Bodhirose, changing feelings, letting go, relationships, self-preservation […]

    Pingback by It’s Cold « Bodhirose's Blog — May 21, 2012 @ 10:08 pm | Reply

  4. Your poem popped up as one that would complement mine…I really like it and so added a link to it from my blog. A good write…can sure relate.

    Comment by Bodhirose — May 22, 2012 @ 6:05 am | Reply


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